Music moves people, literally and figuratively. Anyone who’s been on a stage can tell you there is a certain magic that happens when people join together in song or watch an emotional performance. We chatted with singer-songwriter and music therapist Skyler Cumbia about how she uses her passion for creating music to bring families together and aid in healing in grief and loss.

Name, pronouns, hometown, where do you currently reside?

My name is Skyler Cumbia (she/her). I am from Hanover, Virginia but moved to Wilmington, Delaware in April 2020.

Official job title, description and how long you’ve been active?

I have worked as a music therapist for just over 3 years. While music therapy can be used in a multitude of settings, I personally have a passion for hospice care. I work with a hospice company and their interdisciplinary team of nurses, social workers, and chaplains to provide care for hospice patients wherever they reside (within the state of Delaware). I use patients’ preferred music, primarily with my voice and guitar, to address specific goals for each person. These goals may include decreasing pain or anxiety through music listening and relaxation interventions; increasing engagement and quality of life through singing, instrument improvisation, reminiscence, lyric discussion, songwriting, etc. I also support the families throughout the process of their loved one’s decline, sometimes involving them in the visit, or helping them to create a song of what they wish their loved one to know before they are gone. Music often speaks louder than words.

“Music has always been a way of expressing myself and, more recently, creating community with others”
- Skyler Cumbia

How did you get into creating music?

Music has always been a part of my life, whether singing in choirs or with my three sisters at home, making rhythms with everyday objects, or learning piano, violin, guitar, ukulele, and anything else I could get my hands on. Music has always been a way of expressing myself and, more recently, creating community with others. My first memory of intentionally sitting down to write music was around the age of seven when I entered a piano composition contest with my tune titled “The Dancin’ Prancin’ Sailor”. From that point on, I continued to compose tunes or create medleys on piano. After teaching myself to play guitar in high school, that became my primary instrument for creating songs with lyrics. Since then I have continued to write music as a way to express myself, process my thoughts and emotions, and honor my own relationship with music. I am excited to be releasing six of my original songs early next year! (interview conducted in 2022)

“My family and I were able to be with him when he died and I think from that point on, whether consciously or not, I was aware of the power of music, especially in the last days and hours of someone’s life”
- Skyler Cumbia

What influenced/inspired you to pick this career path?

I was eight years old when my grandfather was diagnosed with a brain tumor. My sisters and I would visit him and sing his favorite songs and hymns, bringing him joy and seeming to comfort him as he continued to decline. My family and I were able to be with him when he died and I think from that point on, whether consciously or not, I was aware of the power of music, especially in the last days and hours of someone’s life. I did not even know about the profession of music therapy until years later, but when I learned there was a way to help people through music, it seemed like the right career for me to pursue. I completed my bachelors’ degree in music therapy and a six month internship in hospice work, passing my board certification to practice music therapy with a goal of working in a hospice setting.

What’s the most challenging part of your job?

Being a music therapist means that I am constantly advocating for, and educating on my profession. This is certainly a challenge, but I hope people continue to ask questions, learn, and experience what music therapy can do.

A beautiful and difficult part of working in hospice is that of making relationships. Music especially has a way of connecting our humanity to that of others and allowing someone to open up about their experiences, emotions and feelings. It is an honor to bear witness to the lives and stories of those I work with, but because of the relationships we develop, it is important to find ways to do my own grieving when my patients die.

What’s the most rewarding part of your job?

I love learning from the people I work with. There is something about hearing the stories of a 100+ year old that gives one perspective on life. The reward is often in the little things like helping to calm someone in pain or distress, hearing someone sing a whole song even though they do not speak or cannot remember their family’s names. Providing comforting music and presence in the last hours or moments of someone’s life, allowing them to transition peacefully. Seeing how much it means to their families when the music captures or expresses what words cannot. Being present and sometimes playing for funerals, supporting families as they say a final goodbye. These moments are meaningful and rewarding to me.

“No matter how old you are, where you live, or what you do, we all have some kind of relationship with music…..We each have the ability to make a connection with others, even if simply through the most basic of rhythms”
- Skyler Cumbia

What’s something you would like to share with readers that you’ve learned from being in this position?

I would encourage people to slow down and appreciate the little everyday things in life. They often end up being the most important things as we look back and consider our lives. I would also recommend talking to people with different backgrounds or experiences from your own. You may be surprised by what you learn. Everyone has their own unique experience of living in this world, but I have found music to be the great connector. No matter how old you are, where you live, or what you do, we all have some kind of relationship with music. After all, everyone has a heartbeat. We each have the ability to make a connection with others, even if simply through the most basic of rhythms.

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